The Beauty in Breaking by Michele Harper

Author:Michele Harper [Harper, Michele]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2020-07-07T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

—

I left Montefiore to dock at the Veterans Affairs Hospital in Philadelphia. Just as I had encountered in my patients at Mercy and Montefiore, I met many heroes while at the VA. Victoria Honor was one of them.

She was steady in her chair, sitting cross-legged, each arm placed deliberately on an armrest, her fingers making soft imprints at the curved vinyl edges. Her grip was tight, her smile at ease. Her hair was parted down the middle, with one goddess braid on each side culminating in a thick rope of loosely kinked hair encircling her head. Springy rings of baby hair peeked out at the edges of her hairline. Her bright, almond-shaped eyes were free of makeup. Actually, she wore no makeup at all, save for lip balm that tinged the air with a hint of citrus. She looked about the same age as I was, both of us appearing younger than our years, but melanin has this effect. Her skin was a shade of moist clay muted by the ill-fitting midnight-blue paper scrubs that hung awkwardly around her shoulders and knees—they appeared to be at least two sizes too big, but they were the smallest we had for the psychiatric patients. This uniform wasn’t made for her.

She looked up when I rapped on the door. Leaning against the wall across from her, I asked why she had brought herself to the hospital.

“Hello, ma’am. I’m here to get cleared. I’m here because it’s time for me to get myself together. That’s all. It’s time.” Her smile cracked open, revealing so much hope.

It was strange meeting her here—that’s what I remember most. It felt as if I knew her already, as if we could have met as participants in the same noon yoga class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, or as volunteers with the annual Run for Peace 5K. This version of reality—our encounter behind the locked doors of the psychiatric unit in the emergency department—didn’t feel right.

“Ms. Victoria Honor . . . by the way, that’s a fantastic name!”

She laughed. “Yeah, well, I can’t say it was my idea. All thanks to my family. You can call me Vicki.”

“Well, Vicki, you sound strong and resolute. Excellent. Yes, I’m here to medically clear you.”

This was the standard process for a “psychiatric” patient, whether she was being admitted to an inpatient psychiatric unit for psychosis or being discharged home with a referral to outpatient services for prescription drug abuse treatment. Emergency medicine physicians have to conduct an examination to address any acute medical issue the patient might have before the patient is transitioned to the care of ER psychiatrists or nonmedical specialists.

“And today,” I continued, “what are we clearing you from? For?”

She recrossed her legs and raised the index and ring finger of each hand to her temples. She seemed to be focusing on something far away and hard to see, as if staring at shadows just beyond a noonday sun.

“I have to get my head straight. I went through terrible things in the military.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.